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You Need To Face It: That Bucket Might Be Broken

You Need To Face It: That Bucket Might Be Broken

Let's Face It. The Problem Just Might Be The Bucket!!
Let’s Face It. The Problem Just Might Be The Bucket!!

Be it in a relationship of Advertiser & Company, Support Personnel & Product License Holder, Friend to Friend, or even between Spouse & Spouse, there might be conflict.  First and foremost, let me say very clearly and distinctly that if you’re not anticipating some level of conflict, regardless of the “relationship” type, then you’re clearly in for a staunch awakening!

Conflict happens!

But at some point during the relationship, you really do need to take a step back and face the reality that the problem might be the bucket!

Everyone has a ‘leaky bucket’ to some extent.

  • If you’re an online advertiser, your customer’s cranium can only hold so much.  At some point, their bucket “leaks”.
  • If you run a WordPress Theme store, and customers continue to have problems, then …YES, their bucket “leaks” as well.
  • If you’re doing online support (in one aspect or another) for some type of WordPress Plugin, WordPress Hosting, or any type of online accounting software (and any illustration in between all those examples) then you’ve probably come to the realization that there are “leaky buckets” that could probably be addressed with better onboarding videos, help sections, and documentation of (whatever) online solution.
  • If you’ve ever had a friend, had a spouse, or ever been in contact with another human species with a working pulse, then you know that everyone, to one extent or another, does indeed have some level of a “leaky bucket”

……….that is NOT what I’m talking about!

There is a point of “self assessment” where you’ve got to stop a minute, zoom out of the situation, take a good solid objective look at what is going on, and determine where the source of the conflict is really originating.

Everyone wants their bucket full.


A license holder of a digital product wants to know how to use their product in the most efficient and precise way. However, when you see the same person filling out the same support ticket over and over and over again, then you might need to come to the realization that it is not your support staff! The other person’s bucket might be broken!

No matter how much that customer wants their bucket filled, all your ‘support’ attempts are not going to be effective.

If you’ve got a friend who is constantly, repeatedly, week after week, month after month, asking you for a loan, then it’s pretty obvious that their bucket is broken.  Yeah, that might “seem” obvious.  But to someone who has given that person a Dave Ramsey book, given them advice, perhaps even paid for financial counseling, then you might not realize that that person’s bucket might be broken.  You’re too close to see it, but… YES! …their bucket is broke!

Regardless of how much your friend wants to be financially prosperous, there’s nothing you can do to “fill their bucket”.

If you’re in a relationship with someone, certainly, they do ~obviously~ want their emotional bucket filled.  Let me reiterate again: that is a perfectly NORMAL expectation.  So you pour into them with prayer, you pour into them with hand written love notes, you find their “Love Language” & learn to speak it fluently, you speak kindly too them (before you’ve become exasperated!), you tolerate them, you give loving salutations, you kiss them when you leave, you check in & ask them how their day is going, with a decent level of human imperfection you can do anything you want to pour into their emotional bucket so that it’s full.

But at some point, you might need to take a step back, identify the source of the problem.  Their bucket might be broke!

There are some people whose buckets are chronically low and leaky.

Is economic development pouring money into areas that continue to make bad decisions with their money really smart? You can pour all the money you want into some neighborhoods. Yet, when individuals collectively decide to spend money on {cough!} “non-taxable” items {/cough!}, then in another 5 years, that same neighborhood will be begging for more.  Was that “economic development” really sustainable? Or would the “economic development” have been better spent in neighborhoods with people who don’t have “leaky buckets”?

Is that support request taking an overly excessive and disproportionate amount of personnel time from your staff?  Then how much longer are you going to slave over those support docs, rewriting the instructions, making videos, creating onboarding experiences, and paying the staff for clients who are causing you to go broke? There might be a point where you need to simply revoke the client’s license and happily give them some suggested alternatives!

If you’re having to tell someone the same thing, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again…… and it’s not getting through to the point of sticking in the grey matter between their ears, and you’re constantly and consistently beating yourself up over “how could I have…..” / “what could I have said differently…..” / “what might have worked when…..” then you,

….yes Y-O-U….

need to stop!



Stop beating yourself up.  Stop wondering what you could have done differently. Stop questioning what verbiage would have/ might have/ could have worked effectively.  Stop rolling through the endless amounts of scenarios in your head and in your heart.  It’s never going to work ~ and you need to be honest and objective enough to identify that.

You can pour all the water you want.  You can hose the bucket from a fire hydrant.  You can turn the water on full blast and keep it running all day and all night.  You can try to apply “whatever” technique to keep the other person’s bucket full.  But above all else, you need to hear this one, main, important bit.

Trying to fill a leaky bucket is TOXIC!

Continually telling someone the same bit of content repeatedly when they forget it the first (second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, ……….) time is just toxic.

  1. It’s toxic to advertising.  Too many times, companies forget to turn OFF their ads.  They’ll simply leave the financial wallet open well beyond the point of a net-positive profit! Crazy, right?  Yet it’s done way to often! The ads run for much longer than the consumer is still interested.  Cut it off at some point and use those advertising dollars elsewhere!
  2. It’s toxic to your business. If there’s a level of repetition with a negative return on investment, then that process needs to stop immediately and be examined again.  Perhaps even examined by a third party outside of your business.
  3. It’s toxic to your soul.  The very act of exhorting effort and never ~ever~ receiving any level of accomplishment, any level of satisfaction, and level of resolution, is horrible! This is highly exacerbated & becomes exponentially worse once the realization is made that this same repetitive behavior will have to be …well… REPEATED again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

The point though is fairly consistent in any level of a relationship ~ business or personal.  If you consistently feel like a relationship is toxic, it might very well be that you need to examine your own bucket.

But, when (IF), you are noticing that the TOXICITY originates from an act that is being consistently-repeated-beyond-belief, with a consistent person, then….

You Need To Face It: That Bucket Might Be Broken

When you peer into the inner soul of the person, is their water always sloshing around, consistently volatile, repeatedly forgetting something said previously, almost systematically causing more ‘backward’ movement than making actual forward progress on the issue?

You Need To Face It: That Bucket Might Be Broken

<3 ~Brad

9 thoughts on “You Need To Face It: That Bucket Might Be Broken

  1. I fully agree that knowledge and understanding of the source of the problem is half the way to solve it, since many simply cannot find the source of the problems.

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