You’ll never have a feeling of Safety if fear is still in the drivers seat. It’s only after fear is under control that the feeling of safety arrives
Sometimes, people have it backwards. they think:
MAKE ME FEEL SAFE NOW. THEN I’LL CONTROL THE FEAR AFTERWARDS.
That is not how it works. As a matter of fact, that is not even possible to ever achieve the feeling of safety unless, until and AFTER fear is controlled.
Imagine for a second someone who has decade after decade after decade of fear and hurt in their life. That’s a lot of built up fear. To someone like that, all they’ve known is fear. Fear is familiar. Yeah, the fear still sucks. But at the very minimum, it is at least familiar.
Now, imagine that in one weekend, you drive across the country to get rid of hurt. 17 hours later. The “cause” of the fear is now gone and you can now feel safe again, right?
Nope. Not happening.
You got rid of the “circumstances” that might have caused fear to arise. Maybe you got rid of the dad that beat the crap out of your mom. Maybe you got rid of that cheating spouse. Perhaps you’re a beautiful Faith filled woman and you got rid of the husband, said goodbye to the misogynistic church, ditched the toxic environment, and created Healthy Boundaries with family members.
First of all: GREAT JOB!!! But that’s NOT the finish line to feeling safe. Keep going.
Someone once said to me, “I don’t feel safe”
I said, “I know. Regardless of how you process and perceive me, I do see your heart. I know you don’t feel safe. At the same time, I would be willing to bet that I know exactly why you will NOT ever feel safe.”
You will never feel safe until you get the fear under control.
- Some people can be in a 3 foot pool and be afraid of drowning.
- You might be on the second rung of a ladder and have a fear of falling off and getting hurt.
- Perhaps your the passenger in a vehicle & you consistently become so fearful at your lack of control that the car next to you is going to cause a collision that you scream out (possibly actually causing a REAL accident!)
- Maybe you are afraid of a spider jumping on you biting them you that you can’t stay in the same room when you see a small spider on the wall.
- Perhaps you believe that the world as you know it will come to an absolute and complete end if a particular political party wins an election.
- Maybe fear overtakes your thinking when you’re in a relationship because of past relationships, and because of fear, you’re not even self aware that it’s going on.
Again, let’s remember that for some people, Fear is Familiar!
It’s all that they know, and a “Henny Penny” reaction might be all that they’ve ever seen, and those kinds of folks don’t really even comprehend how to process something without fear.
It’s totally up to that person to seek professional help, find counselors, and seek out social accountability from friends that they trust.
If not dealt with, fear becomes ‘normal’. When any & all ‘normal’ circumstances are then filtered through the eyes of fear, a person’s perception is now skewed. And having a warped perception of any other person or event, is always self destructive and unhealthy.
No one can ever rationalize the emotion of feeling safe until FIRST addressing their FEAR.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.